


Watching Some Good Friends Screaming Let Me Out

by exceedinglymediocre



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Character Death Fix, F/F, F/M, Fix-It, Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-20 16:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18528391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exceedinglymediocre/pseuds/exceedinglymediocre
Summary: Eliot is distraught over the loss of the love of his life, and makes a rash decision, to replace all of his memories of Breakbills and magic, and most of all, Q. He attempts to live a new life, without Quentin.Stubborn as ever, the rest of group rescues Quentin from the underworld. Finally reunited, Quentin must figure out a way to get Eliot's memories restored.Basically the finale broke my heart and now I'm fixing it.





	1. Funerals and Forgetting

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I love this ship and am heartbroken over the finale.
> 
> The only slight canon changes leading up to the story are that Margo/ Fen/ and Josh were in a relationship, and now Fen and Josh are ruling Fillory without her. Also I'm kind of ignoring all the Quentin/ Alice stuff from the last few episodes.
> 
> Enjoy!!

Eliot hated funerals, and he absolutely hated that he was at a funeral right now. He looked on as the casket was lowered into the ground. It was a somber seen. Many onlookers were weeping and declaring that he died too young. Margo had one arm looped through his and rested her head on his shoulder. Eliot watched as a single tear fell down her cheek.

 

He rolled his eyes “Jesus Christ, Bambi. Don’t be so dramatic we barely knew the boy,” He whispered down to her.

 

She glared up at him, “Funerals make me sad, okay!” She looked dramatically towards the casket, “Besides, he was my go-to dealer, now where am I supposed to get molly from?”

 

Eliot chuckled. He supposed he shouldn’t be chuckling at a funeral, but he didn’t really know the guy. He ran in the same circles that they ran in, and on occasion supplied them with drugs, but other than that he was mostly just another one of Margo’s trust fund friends.

 

He loved Margo more than anything in the world. He fully believed that the first day of grad school, when he met Margo, was the first day of his life. They’d had such happy memories together. Skiing in the alps, dancing in Ibiza, swimming naked in the mediterranean, high on a European drug they couldn’t pronounce. It used to all be so simple. Sometimes when he looked back onto those memories, they seemed so happy that it didn’t feel real. Maybe it was all the casual drug use, but Eliot wondered where all their happy days went.

 

He could remember that first bad night so vividly. He woke up gasping for air on the floor of his and Margo’s shared apartment, coughing and struggling to breathe. Strangely, when he looked to his side, he saw his best friend doing the exact same thing. It was like they’d both been awoken from some nightmare at the exact same time.

 

That was only the first of many sleepless nights. Since then, he and Margo had been getting more and more co-dependent, and had been feeling emptier and emptier with each passing day.

 

“I heard that Ivy’s having an after party, we should check it out.” Margo said casually, breaking Eliot’s train of thought.

 

“An after party? To a funeral? Is this really what our lives have come to,” he said, looking around at the grieving family members.

 

“Oh come on, it’s at that bar we love, and you said yourself we barely knew him.” Margo said tugging him away from the grave site as the funeral ended and guests began to leave.

 

Eliot shrugged, “alright, as long as there’s booze I’m in.”

  
  


***6 Months Earlier***

  
  


_It had been a month since Quentin died and Eliot had yet to leave Kady’s apartment. He was laying in what was once Quentin’s bed, the bright rays of sunlight poking through the curtains had woken him up. He could feel the warm weight of Margo’s body pressed against his back, grounding him to this world. If she was back here with him, that meant her latest attempt to get into Fillory had failed once again._

 

_Eliot’s heart hurt for himself, and for Margo. They both had lost their greatest loves: for him it was Quentin, and for her, Fillory._

 

_A few hours later, Eliot was sitting at the kitchen island, barely poking at his cereal, when he was approached by Kady. The two of them had never been that close, but Kady knew what it was like to lose your soulmate, and she had be there for Eliot in a way that no one else could._

 

_“Okay, time for some tough love,” She said, leaning onto the counter, “I know that you’re going through hell right now, but it’s been pretty depressing watching you mope around this apartment for the last few weeks.”_

 

_Eliot looked at her angrily, “I’m sorry if my grief has been an imposition.”_

 

_Kady rolled her eyes, “Eliot you know I don’t mean it like that. It’s just…” She paused, collecting her thoughts, “You need to make a change. You’re never going to move on just sitting here in your robe watching sad movies all day. You don’t have to dive back into to magic yet, but maybe just go outside for a bit?”_

 

_Eliot couldn’t even fathom moving on. He felt like a part of him was missing. He felt like he was going to carry the weight of ‘Quentin is gone’ forever. Eliot looked away from Kady. “I don’t want to go outside,” he said plainly._

 

_“Okay,” Kady responded, taking a deep breath, “What do you want to do?”_

 

_“I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I don’t want to close my eyes and see him. I don’t want to cry every time I see a fucking piece of fruit. I want the feeling I get every morning when I wake up and remember he’s gone, to just go away.” He could feel tears threatening to spill._

 

_Kady paused, looking Eliot over, trying to gauge if he was serious. “Alright. I can work with that,” she said before she walked away, leaving Eliot alone and confused._

  
  


_Later that night Alice walked him through the spell that she and Kady had come up with. She held out some old textbook for him to look at, as if it would mean anything to Eliot, “It’s a variation on the spell Dean Fogg did on you guys after magic was turned back on. You’ll still get to be Eliot, and all your memories pre Breakbills will remain, but everything after will be replaced. You can just be a regular guy who went to grad school and now lives and works in New York.”_

 

_Eliot considered what Kady and Alice were offering him. A chance to forget. “So I won’t remember Q? Or that he died?” He asked. Even after everything they’ve been through, the abilities of magic still astounded him on occasion._

 

_“No, you won’t” Alice said matter of factly. Eliot knew that she was also grieving in her own way, but given their history, it was hard for him to be too sympathetic towards her._

 

_“Isn’t that kind of a betrayal?” He asked, to no one in particular._

 

_Kady reached out and touched him on the arm, a rare comforting gesture from her, “El, Quentin is gone. Whatever you need to do to move on… he would understand.” Eliot nodded in response. He appreciated everything Kady’s been doing for him in the last few weeks. He wished they could have become closer under different circumstances._

 

_“A new life? Count me in.” Margo said, coming down the stairs._

 

_Eliot shook his head, “It’s okay Bambi, I can do this alone.You have a life here.” He knew what leaving her would do to both of him, but he didn’t want her to give up her life for him._

 

_She scoffed, “What life? I’m not even allowed to step foot in Fillory. The two people I love, who are supposed to love me back, have forgotten all about me and are ruling my kingdom together. Not to mention the fact that one of my closest friends in the world just died.” She crossed the room and sad at Eliot’s side, “I’m done Eliot. With magic, with all of it. I need a new normal life too.”_

 

_Eliot pulled her close and placed a kiss to the top of her head. “Okay Bambi, let’s do this.”_

 

_They both looked towards Alice and Kady. “You two are the only ones who can break this spell, and you’ll have to break it to be able to do any other magic. No one will be able to get you out of this, and there’s no changing your minds,” Alice warned._

 

_“I’m okay with that,” Eliot responded._

 

_“Me too, I’ve made my peace.” Margo took hold of Eliot’s hand. He could feel that she was nervous, but he knew this was the right decision for both of them._

 

_Eliot and Margo laid on the floor, head to head, as Kady and Alice began the spell. Eliot looked at the beautiful chandelier hanging from the apartment’s ceiling, as the world faded away and everything slowly turned to black._

 

*******

 

Eliot sat at a velvet lined booth drinking a dark liquor that he couldn’t quite remember ordering. He looked out onto the party. He had been planning this event for months, it was a big get for his firm. As a second year associate at one of the most competitive PR firms in Manhattan, Eliot shouldn’t be allowed to plan such important events, but he'd proven himself to be one of the best in the business in such a short time.

 

Margo found her way to where Eliot was sitting and tucked herself to his side. “Bambi!,” he declared, excitedly. He turned to address everyone else in the booth, “everyone this is my Bambi,” he slurred.

 

Margo laughed, “how drunk are you El?” She asked, plopping a big kiss to his cheek.

 

“No drunker than you are,” he said with a giggle, as Margo began to animatedly talk to the rest of the table.

 

The booth was filled with their friends. ‘Friends’ was a loose term. Eliot used to love these people, but lately he felt no real attachment to them, like he couldn’t remember why they were in each other’s lives in the first place. They began chatting amongst themselves, when Reed, Eliot’s least favorite of the bunch, turned to him.

 

“Did you guys go to Walker’s funeral last weekend? What a tragedy, his poor parents!” Reed exclaimed.

 

“Did you not go? Weren’t you guys like childhood friends?” Eliot asked, a little more pointedly than he’d meant to. Of the many people on this planet he regretted sleeping with, Reed was at the top of his list. It had been a  _very_ low point for him.

 

“Ugh, no, I mean, it’s sad that he died, but he was always such a mooch, you know? Besides he  _never_ would have gone to my funeral” Reed said, looking back at his phone.

 

Eliot opened his mouth to argue back but Margo stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder. She held her drink up in the air, “Guys, I think we need to make a toast to our handsome and brilliant friend, Eliot Waugh,” they all cheered as Eliot blushed, “for planning this spectacular event, and securing a new, huge account for his firm. El,” she turned to face him, “I don’t say this lightly, but I’m really, really proud of you.” Eliot smiled big. Margo didn’t dole out compliments often, so it always meant alot to him when she did. “To Eliot!” She yelled.

 

“To Eliot!” Everyone yelled back, taking sips of their drinks. Eliot wished he could be in a more celebratory mood, but no matter how hard he tried, something still felt off. It was like everything in his life was covered by a thin, clear film. He could see it, and he knew it was there, but when he reached out to touch it, he just couldn’t.

 

The table was too engrossed in their toast to notice an odd looking group of people approaching them.

 

“Oh my God, Eliot, it’s you, it’s really you.” A desperate voice exclaimed. Everyone turned. A man with shoulder length brown hair looked at Eliot, with nothing short of adoration in his eyes.

 

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” Eliot responded. Eliot looked at him. The man was, in a word, beautiful. His long hair was tucked behind his ears, and his big puppy dog eyes held more hope and desperation in a single look, than Eliot had felt in his entire lifetime. Behind him was an Indian man dressed in a vintage looking suit and a punk looking brunette girl. A few others stood further behind them, but only those three had approached the table.

 

“Come on, I told you he wasn’t going to remember, we should go,” the girl tried to pull on his arm.

 

“No, Kady, stop! I’m not giving up, not ever.” He turned back to Eliot, “Peaches and plums! Come on Eliot, peached and plums mother fucker! It’s me, Q.”

 

“Q?” Eliot responded. Q. Why was that so familiar? Why did that single letter suddenly strike Eliot down to his core?

 

He didn’t have much more time to think about it, because a second later Margo leaned over Eliot, turned away from the group, and threw up onto the floor.


	2. Reunions and Revelations

“Penny for the last time, I’m not staying here I have to get back!” Even in the afterlife, Penny knew exactly how to press Quentin’s buttons. 

 

His time in the Underworld had calmed Penny, and matured him in ways he never would have imagined. He’d grown smarter, and friendlier, and more patient than he ever thought he’d be. He’s practiced this patience for a long time, and yet 15 minutes with Quentin Coldwater was going to break months of work.

 

“Quentin, this isn’t a hotel. You don’t get to check out whenever you want. This is death. You are  _ dead _ . It is impossible to leave here. How can I make this any clearer?” Penny said, trying as hard as he could not to start yelling. 

 

Quentin rolled his eyes, “Penny, I’m aware of the concept of death.” He crossed his arms stubbornly.

 

“You sure as hell aren’t acting like it.” Penny retorted. 

 

Quentin took a deep breath and leaned closer towards Penny, who was sitting across the table from him, “Come on, you know who we are. When have words like ‘impossible’ ever stopped us?” Quentin pleaded.

 

“Alright, Coldwater.” Penny sighed, “If there were a way out of here, I would have figured it out a long time ago.” Quentin slumped his shoulders in defeat, “But. I think I may know a way to contact someone above ground.”

 

Quentin’s eyes got wide and a huge smile broke out on his face.

 

********

 

“I can’t take this anymore! We have to do something!” Julia screamed to Penny Twenty-Three and Kady, who were trying to calm her down. “Q’s dead. Eliot and Margo fucking disappeared. Fen and Hoberman haven’t left Fillory in months.” Julia stopped pacing and took a deep breath. “We’ve been trying to stop the world from ending for all these years so that eventually we’d all get to live a happy life. Together. Well I’m cashing in. I want that life. For  _ all _ of us.”

 

“Jules, there are somethings we don’t have control over…” Kady began.

 

“I don’t accept that. Come on. We can do anything, look at what we’ve done so far! It’s time to get the band back together, what do you say?” Julia asked. Trying to act more confident and sane than she had earlier. Penny and Kady stood in front of her, speechless.

 

“You can count me in.” Alice said, approaching the group.

 

“Really?” Julia asked, grateful, but surprised.

 

“Yeah, after everything, I owe it to Q to at least try. As for the rest of them, I’ll see what I can do.”  Alice didn’t seem too enthusiastic, but Julia still gave her an excited high five. 

 

“Penny? Kady?”

 

“Fine I’m in, but I’m doing this for you, not for everyone else.” Penny answered, begrudgingly. 

Julia looked at Kady expectantly. “Ugh, fine I’m in too.” Julia celebrated by giving Kady a big hug, that she did not want. When Julia finally peeled off of her, Kady spoke up again, “And I may have a lead on Eliot and Margo,” she looked nervously over at Alice. Julia looked confused. 

  
  


Suddenly, Alice fell to the floor in pain. She screamed out in agony. Everyone ran to her to figure out what was wrong. When she stopped screaming, they discovered the source of the pain. Her forearm was badly cut and was heavily bleeding.

 

“Shh, shh,” Julia tried calming her, “Alice you have to let me see it so I can heal it. What did you do?”

 

“Nothing, ah, I have no idea what this is.” She held her arm out, wincing. Penny came back with a wet washcloth and wiped the blood from the wound. 

 

“Did you do this to yourself?” Julia asked Alice, fearfully. Julia and Alice had their problems, but she didn’t want Alice to be cutting herself.

 

“No, of course not!” Alice looked down at her cleaned arm. “Why would I cut numbers into myself?” 

 

Kady gasped, “Not just numbers, look Jules, it’s a Brakebills book ID number, that’s exactly what Marina did when she died in our timeline, remember?” Kady asked with wide eyes.

 

“Yes, but why would she being doing it to Alice, right now?” Julia asked, worried.

 

“Maybe it’s not her,” Kady suggested, “Alice what book is this? Maybe it means something.”

 

Alice scoffed, she looked offended. “I don’t memorize book ID numbers, I’m not that much of a nerd!” They all three looked at her, unconvinced. She let out a frustrated sigh, “But you guys did take out most of the 417s when you were looking for ways to kill the monster, so I would check the spare bedroom, it’s probably up there.”

 

Kady smiled, “now that’s our girl,” she said sarcastically, earning an eye roll from Alice.

 

They ran upstairs to discover it was a book on communication to Underworld. The magic in the book was untested and highly experimental, but if done right it could theoretically open up unlimited communication to any dead person who hasn’t passed on from the Underworld yet.

  
  


It didn’t take them long to figure it out, and to their delightful surprise, it was Quentin on the other end of the line. 

Eventually, they hatched a plan to get Quentin out of the Underworld, and after a lot of persuasion, they convinced Penny Forty to come with. 

 

At the door to the Underworld, Kady cupped Penny’s face in her hands. “This will all be waiting for you in 60 years when we’re old and gray. Come on Pen, I need you with me now.” After a long passionate kiss, Penny followed her out the door and above ground. 

 

Regrouping at the apartment, the two Pennys seemed to butt heads just about as much as anyone would have expected. As they bickered, Quentin hugged Julia, Alice, and even a reluctant Kady. “I can’t believe you did it, you guys save my life.”

 

“Oh please, like you’ve never saved any of us before,” Julia joked, holding Quentin’s hand.

 

Kady stood up to go break up the Pennys escalating fight, muttering something about them being too mushy, but nonetheless wiping a tear off her cheek as she went. Alice stood up shortly after to give Quentin and Julia some privacy.

 

Quentin gripped Julia’s hand tighter and squeezed his eyes shut. “Jules, I may come to regret asking this question, but where’s Eliot” he was worried. Quentin noticed the fact that he hadn't been involved in the rescue mission at all, and even more alarmingly, that no one had even said his name yet. Quentin’s mind immediately went to the worst. 

 

“Q?” Julia said, waiting for him to open his eyes, “Whatever it is you’ve cooked up in that head of yours, it’s not that bad.” Quentin let out a breath he didn’t notice he’d been holding, “but, there is something you should know.” 

  
  


Approximately three hours later, when all the magic in the world couldn't locate Eliot. It was Kady checking Margo’s Instagram story that led the group to their location. They stood outside a trendy looking restaurant that was filled with people and loud music, two of Quentin’s least favorite things. 

 

He took a deep breath, “How do we even get in? I’ve battled actual gods, and that sorority girl with a headset and a clipboard is by far the scariest thing I’ve ever seen.”

 

Julia laughed and threw her arms around Quentin, it was good to have him back.

 

Alice looked at the group reassuringly, “Don’t worry, I have magic for that.” With a flick of her wrist, they were in. The group began to scour the restaurant, pushing through people to try to find Eliot and Margo.

 

“Wait,” Kady grabbed Quentin as he rushed off in another direction. “Q, he has no idea who you are, what are you even going to say to him?”

 

“He’ll know me. Even if he doesnt think he does. I know Eliot, and somewhere deep down, he’ll know me.” Kady nodded. She wasn't sure if she believed him, but if anyone could save Eliot Waugh it was Quentin. That was sort of his specialty.

 

Penny Forty caught up with the two of them just in time for them to hear a loud “To Eliot!” being yelled directly to their left.

 

Quentin rushed over as quickly as he could, Penny and Kady following behind. 

 

There he was. Eliot. Not the monster, but Eliot. He was smiling and taking a sip from what was bound to be the fanciest cocktail they served, with Margo flanked to his side. This was exactly how Quentin remembered him. Holding back tears he approached the table. “Oh my God, Eliot, it’s you, it’s really you.” He said.

 

Eliot smiled at him, but not the way he usually did. Eliot smiled at him the way you smile at a toddler whose sentences aren’t quite making sense.

 

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” 

 

Quentin’s heart nearly broke into two pieces. He was prepared for this answer, but it still cut him like a knife. Kady grabbed him “Come on, I told you he wasn’t going to remember, we should go.”

 

“No, Kady, stop! I’m not giving up, not ever.” 

 

Quentin turned to Eliot. He thought of that day in the park, where Eliot had fought like hell to break through to him. Quentin swallowed, “Peaches and plums! Come on Eliot, peached and plums mother fucker! It’s me, Q.”

 

“Q?” Quentin could see a spark of recognition in Eliot’s eyes. It was subtle, and it disappeared quickly, but it was there. And that’s all Quentin needed to keep going. He was ready to keep trying, when Margo suddenly hurled all over the floor. 

 

“Shit” Quentin heard Alice say from behind him. “I was worried that this might be a side effect.”


	3. Fashion Houses and Fillory

Eliot’s instincts kicked in quickly. He grabbed the puking Margo and headed out to the alleyway, he could feel the group of strangers following them. He heard one of them say something about a side effect, but didn’t think much of it. He was more concerned with Margo for the time being.

 

Once they got outside, the fresh air seemed to sober Margo up and stop her puking.

 

“El, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even drink that much, I don’t know what’s gotten into me” She looked at him with big, worried eyes. She knew how big of a deal this event was for him and she didn’t want to ruin it.

 

Eliot shook his head, “Shhh, Bambi, it’s okay.” He took a deep breath, and began running circles onto Margo’s back, “that was all _a lot_ in there, I’m glad we have a second to ourselves.”

 

Margo nodded, “Yeah, what the fuck was that? Do you know those people?”

 

Eliot jumped back and looked defensive, “No! Of course not!” Margo narrowed her eyes at him, she could tell something was up. “But didn’t it all just feel a little… familiar.”

 

“What? Adoring, hot guys throwing themselves at you?” Eliot rolled his eyes. “Yes _that_ part felt familiar, but, El, those people knew who you were. And they seemed like wackjobs, we should be careful.”

 

“You’re right,” Eliot responded, begrudgingly.

 

When they went back inside the new strangers were nowhere to be found. Eliot quickly and discreetly got a cleaning crew to mop up Margo’s vomit, and the rest of the event went off without a hitch.

  


Later that night, after tossing and turning for what felt like hours, Eliot gave up on sleep and crossed the hall of their apartment towards Margo’s room. He was pleased to find that she was still up, scrolling through her phone. Wordlessly, he crawled into bed next to her. He laid his head on her arm and wrapped his arms around her middle.

 

“Bambi?” He asked. She responded by putting her phone down, so Eliot continued. “You can feel it too right?”

 

She lightly traced her fingers up and down his arms, “feel what El?”

 

Eliot took a deep breath. “Like the last six months have been a waking nightmare. Everything feels so much heavier and so much more real, that you begin to wonder if any of the happy memories were ever even real at all? Like you’re drowning and you can see the surface but you can’t ever reach it?” He finally looked up at her after he finished his train of thought.

 

He could see tears beginning to fall down her cheeks, “yeah, El,” she breathed out, “I can feel that too.”

 

They hugged each other closer. Eliot loved her and he hated seeing her this upset. He hated seeing himself this upset too. He silently vowed that he would do whatever it took to make everything okay again, for both of them.

  


Margo went back to work on Monday, determined to put the weekend’s weirdness behind her. She was working in the fashion department of one of the best selling magazines out there, which was a huge accomplishment considering magazines were a dying breed. She loved her job, and was good at it, but it just didn’t fulfill her the way it used to.

 

She sat at her desk and began to organize herself for the day, when her phone rang, “This is Margo,” she answered, upbeat and professional.

 

“Hi Margo,” it was the receptionist, “your 8:30 is here.”

 

Margo was confused, she quickly checked her calendar to confirm that she didn’t have an 8:30 appointment. “I’m so sorry, I don’t have an 8:30 on the books, can you ask what this is in reference to?”

 

The line went silent for a minute, “they say they’re with Versace.”

 

Designers didn’t usually reached directly out to her, but it was not uncommon. What was uncommon was an unannounced arrival, but their magazine had a good relationship with Versace and she didn’t want to ruin it because of one appointment snafu.

 

“I’m on my way.” She said, hanging up the phone.

 

Margo led the oddly dressed people to a small conference room she knew was available. Versace had sent over a man and a women, both young and attractive, and both dressed in fancy clothes that she could only describe as medieval, but none the less incredibly fashionable. They certainly stood out in the office, but probably would have fit right in at the Met Gala. Margo figured these people must be important, so she acted as impressive as she could.

 

“Hello, I’m Margo Hansen, I’m so thrilled that you…” the man cut her off before she could continue.

 

“We know,” Margo scrunched her brows. These people were unannounced and rude? He continued, “Margo, it’s us come on, don’t you recognize us?” She shook her head. Maybe she’d met them at an event before?

 

The women looked like she was about to cry, she reached across the conference table and touched Margo’s hand. If these people hadn’t been with Versace, she would have yanked it back and made a biting comment, but she didn’t. “Margo, please” she begged, “I know Eliot recognized Q the other night, we were just hoping that if you saw us and if you could feel how much we love you.” The woman started to cry, “and how much we miss you and how much we just want you back in Fillory with us, that maybe you’d see it too.”

 

“Fillory? Like the children’s books?” Margo looked between the crying woman and the man, “who at Versace sent you?” She was beginning to get scared and was growing suspicious.

 

“Wait I have an idea!” The man said, “Fen, do what we discussed earlier.”

 

The women nodded. Margo got more nervous and the woman took off the odd looking, crown- like headband she had on, and slowly placed it atop Margo’s head.

 

Suddenly, Margo was in a room she didn’t recognize, but she was smiling and happy. She could see Eliot to her left, beaming up at her, and she could see the woman and the man to her right clapping at her and looking at her adoringly. Many other medievally dressed people were scattered across the room, clapping and cheering. As suddenly as it came, the vision faded and left Margo gasping for air. She choked, as she tried to catch her breath.

 

“Fen, the side effects, we have to go.” The man said urgently.

 

They stood up and took the crown from Margo’s head. “Margo we love you so much and we’re coming for you. We never ever gave up on you.” The woman said. 

 

Once they were gone Margo could breathe again. She quickly regained her composure and tried to beat the two people to the front of the building, to catch them before they left and grill them for answers, but she was too late. They were gone.  


*******

 

“Side effect? What do you mean side effect?” Quentin asked angrily as he chased Margo and Eliot through the restaurant.

 

Alice stopped him before he followed them into the alleyway. “Quentin, I had to modify Dean Fogg's spell. I didn’t want one of them accidentally stumbling across magic and then having the spell kill them. I tried to get rid of that part of it entirely, but I think a few side effects remained.”

 

“So what they’re going to vomit every time they see me?” He asked. Quentin was mad. He knew he didn’t have any right to be. He was dead and Eliot had the right to move on however he wanted to, but Quentin wished that he hadn’t resorted to this.

 

“No, and it shouldn’t be anything too serious, but if either of them starts to recognize or remember, their bodies are going to reject it.” Alice said. She seemed sympathetic. Quentin tried not to say something horrible back, but was stopped by Kady.

 

“Okay guys, this was a lot for today. Quentin, we just got you back, that’s an accomplishment on its own! I say we go back to the apartment and regroup. We can figure the rest out from there,” Quentin didn’t seem convinced.

 

Julia approached him, “Q, they aren’t in any danger. I mean look at those people,” she gestured to the booth where Eliot and Margo has been a minute ago. “They’re harmless,” she put her hands on his shoulders, “there’s no beast, there’s no monster, I know you want Eliot back right now, but we have time. We should try to do this as safely as possible, even if that means going slow.”

 

Quentin hated when she was right. He begrudgingly followed the group home. Kady broke out some celebratory wine. In all the craziness, Quentin hadn’t realized how long it’d been since she’d seen Penny. Their Penny, her Penny. He tried to be happy for them, but it would be so much easier if he was tucked under Eliot’s arm the was she was tucked under Penny’s.

 

In his time in the underworld, Quentin was so concerned with getting back that he hadn’t given much thought to what it would be like when he did. He didn’t really expect Eliot to be there, waiting for him with open arms, but it still hurt that he wasn’t. When Julia and Kady explained to him what happened to Eliot and Margo, they’d said Eliot was heartbroken. Eliot has told Kady that Quentin was his soulmate, that he’d lost his other half, and that’s why he didn’t to erase his memories.

 

There was a lot that was troubling about that logic, but Quentin held onto one thing tightly: Eliot loved him back. Eliot wanted to be with him and if Quentin could just break this damn spell, they could finally be together, like they were meant to be.

 

There was a knock at the door. “Shit, I forgot to tell you guys that I sent a rabbit to Fillory.” Julia said, standing up and walking to the door

 

“Wait why would you…” Quentin couldn’t finish his thought before an angry Fen and Josh burst through the door.

 

“Erased her memories!?” She shouted, “we were trying to figure out a way to get her back why the fuck would you do that!” Fen rarely cursed. She must be pissed, Quentin thought.

 

“That was six months ago, where have you been?” Alice shouted back.

 

Fen regained her composure and Josh spoke up, “things have been bad in Fillory, but we haven’t stopped trying. We love her.”

 

“Well you have a weird way of showing it,” Kady retorted. She’d had a front row seat to both Eliot’s grieving and to Margo’s attempts to get back to the people and the kingdom she loved. Kady didn't have much sympathy for Josh or Fen.

 

Fen took a deep breath, “where is she? Maybe if we find her we can fix it.”

 

The group looked at her. It was worth a shot.

  
  



	4. Panic Attacks and Poster Boards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kind comments! I love these characters so much and just want them all to be okay again! I hope you guys enjoy!

Eliot looked up from his computer when he heard a pounding on his office door. 

 

“Jesus, Bambi it is way to early for that kind of noise!” He declared as he let a very disgruntled Margo into his office, “What are you even doing here, shouldn’t you be at work?”

 

Margo tried to catch her breath, she had just run eleven blocks in heels, all the way to Eliot’s office. She wheezed and spoke between breaths, “Wackjobs… more of them… my office… Medieval clothes... strange… vision.”

 

Eliot shut his office door so no one else could be privy to Margo’s insane panic attack. “Okay crazy, let’s breathe, in and out, in and out, there we go.” He instructed her calmly. He grabbed his water bottle from his desk and gave some to her. “Now let’s go through this slowly. What exactly happened? Was it those people from the other night? Were they giving you trouble?”

 

Margo gulped down some of Eliot’s water as her breath returned. “No,” she answered, calmer than before, “They were different people from Saturday, but they had to be connected. It’s like they’re all from planet crazy and they’re after the two of us.”

 

Eliot nodded, “And what’s this about Medieval clothes?” He asked, rubbing her back slowly. Margo walked him through the whole thing, right up to her weird vision.

 

“And I was there?” He asked.

 

“Yes. God El, it just felt so  _ real _ . I could  _ feel _ it. We were in this castle and you had on some sort of Lord of the Rings style outfit and those two people were there. And El…” She paused, “I think I loved them.” She looked scared.

 

“I know what you mean Bambi. Do you remember that guy with the floppy hair on Saturday?” Margo nodded, “I swear I’ve never seen him before, but he  _ felt  _ familiar. Like something was radiating off of him that I’d known forever.”

 

“God this all feels like a bad trip, any chance we were poisoned and didn’t notice?” Margo suggested, earning a laugh and a tight squeeze from Eliot. 

 

“Sadly, I don’t think so.”

 

Margo left about twenty minutes later, they both had jobs and actual, sane lives to attend to. They resolved to meet back up at home after work, and try to figure this thing out together. They vowed to tell no one else until they did.

 

******

 

“So you think the crown actually did something? Like it may have sparked a memory?” Quentin asked excitedly when Josh and Fen returned to the apartment. 

 

Fen nodded enthusiastically, “I mean it basically almost killed her, but I swear Quentin, she remembered something. I know her and I know that look, something broke through.”

 

Quentin pumped his fist in the air. It was their first real breakthrough. “Don’t get too excited,” Penny Twenty-Three interrupted his celebration, “Did you not hear the ‘almost killed her’ part?”

 

Quentin rolled his eyes. He was glad to be back to the land of the living, but one Penny had been hard enough to deal with. Two Pennys may send him back to the Underworld. “It’s not going to kill either of them, Alice said so.” Julia raised an eyebrow at him. He had obsessed over the monster not treating Eliot’s body well for months, and now he was just going to let this spell hurt him? Quentin continued, “Eliot and Margo vomiting or gasping for air isn’t ideal, but I know they’d agree with me. This is just a necessary obstacle to overcome if we are all going to be together again.  _ Safe. _ ” He emphasized the last word. 

 

Between the Underworld, the monster, and the fight to restore magic, Eliot and Quentin hadn’t been together and safe since the mosaic. Quentin was more than ready to fix that.

 

“Okay, we need to formulate a plan then,” Alice offered. She’d been surprisingly helpful over the last few days. Quentin assumed it was because she felt bad for administering the spell in the first place. “Where are Kady and our Penny?”

 

“Our Penny?” Penny Twenty- Three asked, obviously offended.

 

Alice rolled her eyes, “You know what I mean,” Penny seemed to get over it as Julia wrapped an arm around his waist.

 

“You’ll always be my Penny,” She offered. Alice and Quentin reacted in disgust.

 

“They’ve barely left Kady’s room since we got back,” Quentin answered, “I call not being the one who interrupts them.”

 

Josh rolled his eyes, “I’ll do it. You guys start brainstorming.”

  
  


After some research, they came up with an idea. Quentin could sense Eliot’s recognition when he said “Q” and Margo seemed to briefly remember when the crown was put on her head. Based on their research, they found that familiar words and actions could break through the spell, if the feelings behind them were strong enough. Eliot and Margo were the only ones who could actually break the spell, but the group had to make sure they’d seen enough memories to be convinced, not only that magic was real, but that they should try the spell.

 

“Okay obvious suggestion here, but if all we need is for them to perform the spell, can’t we just grab a gun or a knife and threaten them to do it?” Kady said, after Alice had laid everything out for them.

 

Fen’s eyes widened, “You will not!” She declared, protectively.

 

“Relax, we’re not actually going to hurt them, just get them to do what we need to.” 

 

Alice shook her head, “We need them to mean it for the spell to work.”

 

“Well then when we threaten them, we tell them they have to mean it!” Kady suggested.

 

Julia cleared her throat, “Come on Kady, you know that’s not how it works.”

 

“I know,” she answered, defeated, “But we always tend to overcomplicate things, maybe there’s a simpler solution?”

 

No one had any ideas for a simpler solution, so they all brainstormed meaningful words and memories for Margo and Eliot, and ways they could re-enact them without hurting them too badly in the process. 

 

Quentin was going to get the first try, and he had the perfect idea.

 

******

 

When Eliot got home, Chinese take-out in hand, he found margo on the floor with a giant poster board and a marker writing down random words.

 

“Where the hell did you get that?” He asked. 

 

She didn’t look up, “Stole it from work.” She scribbled something else down onto the board. “We need to write down what we know.

 

Eliot looked at what she had so far, and it didn’t make much sense. She had written down the words, Versace, medieval, castle, crown, Fen, and wackjobs.

 

“What’s a ‘Fen’” He asked.

 

Margo looked up, “It was the girl’s name. The guy kept calling her that, and when I had that weird memory flash, I looked at her and I knew it was Fen. I just know that’s her name.”

 

He nodded, “Okay I believe you.” He handed her a carton of fried rice, “I’m jealous, I want a memory flash.”

 

“Oh!” she exclaimed, and wrote down the world Fillory.

 

“Ah yes, I forgot that we are also on the hunt for Narnia.” He laughed. He knew how ridiculous all of this sounded, but he was with Margo. There was something there, and they needed to figure it out.

 

“It explains the clothes!” She backed away from the posterboard. “Okay your turn,” she handed Eliot the marker. He just wrote down the letter Q. “That’s it?” She asked. 

 

“Hey, I didn’t get a work ambush and a vision quest!” He protested.

 

Margo rolled her eyes, “Okay maybe we should figure out how many wackjobs there are.”

 

“Good idea,” He responded, “So there were the two children of Narnia who visited you this morning, a man and woman, right? What did they look like?”

 

Margo smiled and started to get lost in her thoughts, “the guy was cute, and nerdy, but not in an off-putting way. And he had this air about him, like there wasn’t a worry in the world he couldn’t sooth. And the woman was beautiful, she seemed vulnerable, like I’d caught her at a bad time, but when I saw her in my vision she had this strength and confidence, and was definitely someone who was worthy of that crown she put on my head. They were both unique, but seemed to work as this perfect unit, and they radiated so much love and acceptance, it was almost overwhelming,” Margo mused.

 

Eliot looked annoyed, “Dear god, Bambi, I am not going to right all of that down.”

 

Margo rolled her eyes, “Fine. The guy was blonde with glasses, and the girl had long brown hair.”

 

“Thank you!” he responded, making notes on the poster. “So there’s those two, the guy with the floppy hair,” Eliot wrote a small ‘Q’ next to ‘Floppy haired guy’, “the Indian guy,” he continued.

 

“Punk girl,” Margo added, “and I didn’t see anyone else. I was kind of busy puking.” 

 

“There was definitely a blond girl at some point, and I think I saw the Indian guy’s identical twin standing off to the side, in a more than tragic scarf.” Eliot continued, writing it all down as he spoke.

 

“Great, that’s what this whole clusterfuck needed, a creepy set of identical twins!” Margo yelled, bringing Eliot over a glass of wine as she sipped her own.

 

“To be fair, they didn’t seem to be creepy, just very fashionably challenged,” He laughed, accepting the glass from Margo as she made her way to the couch, “I know there was another girl too, but I didn’t get a good look at her.”

 

“So in total we have eight goons after us?” Margo asked. 

 

Eliot nodded. He hopped up from the floor and laid down on the couch, his head in Margo’s lap. She began to absent-mindedly stroke her fingers down his arm. Eliot closed his eyes and relaxed into the touch. When he opened them again he saw Margo looking down at him smiling, but when he looked away he didn’t see their apartment. He saw a crowded, but well decorated house. It looked as though it was in the throws of a party. 

 

His eyes immediately focused on the floppy haired boy and the blond girl from the other night, sitting on a couch on the other side of the room, sipping on something green.

 

Margo spoke, “You and your first year boys. What is your obsession with the flavor of the month?” She was tracing her fingers across his shoulder.

 

He looked up at her, puzzled, “Margo what did you just say?” he demanded

 

“I didn’t say anything,” Eliot sat up, he noticed that he was back in their apartment, “El, are you okay? I think your nose is bleeding!” Margo was concerned, she raced over to the kitchen to grab a paper towel.

 

Eliot’s eyes got wide, and a huge smile broke out across his face, “Bambi, I did it! I think I just had a vision!” 


	5. Memories and Mosaic Tiles

“Okay El, say it again,” Margo said into her phone as sped through a busy Manhattan sidewalk on her way to work.

 

“You and I were looking out onto some party and word for word you said, ‘You and your first year boys. What is your obsession with the flavor of the month?’” He responded, swiping his employee ID to get into his office building.

 

“First year as in grad-school right?” Margo asked, sipping her iced coffee.

 

“Margo we went over this for hours last night, I told you that is all the information I have!” Eliot exclaimed, trying to lower his voice, as he entered his office, “Okay I’m at work now I have to go, but keep your wits about you, Bambi.”

 

“Right, I’ll keep trying for more visions!” She said excitedly.

 

After Margo got Eliot’s nose to stop bleeding, she made him relay the 30 second memory to her a hundred times. They drew out what Eliot said the house looked like and tried to connect his vision to Margo’s, but they seemed to have nothing in common other than the fact and neither Margo nor Eliot remembered living them.

 

They were both confused, and a little bit scared, but this was the first time either of them had been really excited about something in months. Like they hadn’t really been living for something since that night on the floor, and now they finally had a mission. 

 

“Love you, El,” Margo said, as she ended the call.

 

“You too, Bambi,” Eliot responded, putting his phone away. Eliot walked into the conference room, ready for his morning de-briefing. “What’s this?” Eliot asked, gesturing towards a large fruit basket in the middle of the table. 

 

“A thank you gift to the firm, for putting on such a successful event Saturday night,” his boss responded. She stood at the front of the room, “that being said, I think we all need to give a round of applause for our very own Eliot Waugh, who has single-handedly planned one of our highest profile events of the year!” Everyone clapped enthusiastically. Eliot was well-liked and respected at his firm. He loved working there, but never truly felt challenged. Sometimes he felt he hadn’t earned all the praise he got.

 

As his boss began the meeting, he pulled a plum from the basket. He took a large bite, and started making notes on what his boss was saying. It was hard to pay attention with everything else that was going through his mind.

 

After the meeting, he sent a quick text to Margo.  **_One hour in, still no visions._ **

 

Margo responded.  **_Same, and I’ve been trying to do odd things around the office to see if they strike something._ **

 

Eliot laughed, picturing Margo making a fool of herself at her glamorous job full of her snooty coworkers. He looked down at the plum in his hand.  **_Bambi, did the floppy haired boy say something about fruit on Saturday? Something about plums, I think?_ **

 

Margo responded quickly.  **_I don’t remember, but let’s add it to the board! I’ll try to find some plums for tonight!_ **

 

******

 

Quentin and Fen sat in front of the receptionist’s desk at Eliot’s fancy office. They quickly pretended to be engrossed in some magazines as Eliot walked past them, not noticing they were there. 

 

“Okay the basket is in there, what exactly am I looking out for?” He asked her. Quentin had Alice magic the basket into the office the night before. 

 

Peaches and plums. This was what made Eliot remember their fifty years in Fillory. If it worked once, Quentin was sure it would work again. 

 

“I’m not really sure,” Fen answered, “a far off look and then some sort of medical incident?” she offered.

 

Quentin kept his eyes fixed on Eliot, not even bothering to look up when he refused a bottle of water from the receptionist. He watched the other employees begin to applaud, as Eliot beamed under their praise. Quentin couldn’t help but smile, no matter what Eliot did he sure was the best at it.

 

Quentin and Fen held their breaths as Eliot went for the basket. He pulled out a piece of fruit and took a bite from it and then… nothing. Nothing at all. He just kept taking notes and eating. No sudden bursts of memory, no vomiting, just life as usual. 

 

“Shit,” Quentin said. He was sure it would work. 

 

“It’s okay,” Fen assured him, “We’ll try something else!” She looked up to where the receptionist was heading towards them. “Okay Quentin, it’s time to go.”

 

“Bill is ready to see you now!” The receptionist said politely, “he couldn’t find your company in our records though, what was the name of it again?”

 

Fen looked panicked, “You know what, I’m so sorry, but this was a false alarm. Turns out we don’t need any PR work!” Quentin answered quickly, as he and Fen scampered off towards the door. 

  
  


Back at the apartment, they were back to the drawing board. 

 

“I was so sure that would work!” Quentin shouted in frustration. 

 

“I’m sorry Q,” Julia said, hugging him in an attempt at comfort, she looked towards the group, half of whom had their heads buried into books, “What else we got?” She asked expectantly.

 

Josh offered a few memories that he thought would strike a cord with Margo, Alice brought up their first coronation out on the beach which could work for either of them, Penny Forty suggested re-creating a game of Welters, “Maybe her instincts, will kick in?” he asked.

 

They tossed around a few more memories, but couldn’t figure out how to live them out with the current Eliot and Margo, in a way that would would jog their memory, and keep them safe.

 

After a full day with nothing to show for it, everyone was beat. They were about to call it an early night when Kady stood up, “Oh my God, it’s so obvious isn’t it?” she looked like she had just had ‘aha’ moment. They all looked back at her, confused. “I know what we have to do.”

 

******

 

It had been four days since Eliot’s vision of the party, and he and Margo were starting to give up hope. 

 

“This is just depressing” Margo said, looking at their poster board. Since the addition of ‘fruits (plums maybe?)’ to the board, the only new thing on it was a running list of bodily reactions to the memoires: vomit, choking, and nosebleeds. 

 

“We need a night out, El” She said. They had both gotten home from work a few minutes prior, “Come on, it’s Friday night and Ivy’s having a thing at that new speakeasy downtown.”

 

“We can’t go out. There’s too much work to do here!” Eliot protested. Eliot had dove headfirst into this new little mission. He knew that it meant something, and he knew he had to figure it out, no matter what.

 

Margo tried to respond with more sympathy, “We’ve been at this for days, and don’t have anything new, El.”

 

“Reality itself no longer has meaning and you want to go to Ivy’s speakeasy?” He said, harsher than he’d meant to.

 

Margo rolled her eyes, “Well if reality is meaningless, one night off won’t kill you. We have to at least try to have fun okay? I’m afraid you’re losing yourself in all of this. I know you called in sick to work yesterday.”

 

“I wasn’t feeling well.”

 

“Bullshit,” she said, finally seeming to break through to him, “this will all still be here in the morning. I bet that cute guy that you flirted with after the funeral will be there!” She tried to pep him up. 

 

Eliot reluctantly agreed and a few hours later, they were in an Uber on their way downtown. There was something both comforting and unsettlingly sad about being back to themselves after a week off. They were dressed to the nines, and already a few drinks in. Eliot could tell Margo was pretending to be strong to get the both of them through this, but he could see cracks in her facade. 

 

“Maybe a night of binge drinking is exactly what we need” He suggested as they arrived at the bar, trying to raise their spirits. 

 

They both tried to socialize as best they could and neither dared mentioned why they’d both been so absent for the last week. Margo began taking pictures with her friends and posted some of the cuter ones. 

 

Margo drank a little more than she should have and eventually fell on her high heels. Eliot took her to the bathroom and begin to wash the blood from the wound that had formed on her forehead. 

 

“I’m upset,” she began, she was sitting on the bathroom counter looking up at Eliot, “I’m in physical pain and I didn’t even get a vision out of it.”

 

Eliot laughed and smiled, “No Bambi, this wasn’t a memory thing, I think it was just a drunk Margo thing.” She laughed back but winced when he hit a sore spot on her head. 

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” He asked, genuinely concerned.

 

“No, it just stings. Ignore me, I’m just being a baby,” Eliot froze. That was not Margo’s voice. Suddenly his eyes met with the floppy haired boy’s. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and his clothes looked old-timey, the same way Margo had described her visitors.

 

“Q,” Eliot breathed out, soaking up the moment like it was his only lifeline. They were in a small hut looking structure. Eliot couldn’t describe why, but he immediately felt at home.

 

“I’m sorry El,” He responded, “Even after all these years, the mosaic still manages to frustrate me beyond belief, but I should never have thrown that tile. It was uncalled for and we’re lucky I’m the only one who got hurt.”

 

Eliot nodded, terrified that the moment would fade. He looked into the man’s, Q’s, eyes. He had never, ever felt love like this before. Not even towards Margo, and most days he assumed she would be the only soulmate he ever got. Eliot leaned forward and placed a kiss to his lips. Q kissed him back softly, yet passionately. 

 

“Eliot Waugh, always coming to my rescue,” Q said, with the most beautiful smile Eliot’s ever seen. 

 

Eliot had so many questions, but he was afraid that if he poked too hard, the memory would fade, or he would begin to choke or something worse. 

 

He looked at Q, determined, and chose one question carefully, “Do you love me?” He asked, because Eliot was sure of nothing else other than the fact that he was wholeheartedly and totally in love with this man.

 

“Oh Eliot,” Q placed a hand on his cheek and began to rub his thumb up and down, “more than you will ever know.” He leaned in again to kiss Eliot. Eliot began to kiss back.

 

“El… El… Eliot! You know I love you but I’m really not in the mood for a make out right now.” It was Margo, they were back in the bathroom. He opened his mouth to respond, but suddenly clapped his hand over it. He pushed Margo out of the way and went straight to the sink. He started to cough and when he finished, he noticed trails of blood dripping down the sink and towards the drain. 

 

“Jesus Christ, Eliot, that better have been one hell of a vision.” Margo said seriously, rubbing his back and attempting to clean up the blood.

 

He nodded, smiling, as tears formed in his eyes, “I’ll tell you all about it on the way home.”

 

They exited the bathroom and headed towards the front of the bar. But, before they could reach the door, they were stopped dead in their tracks. All eight of the wackjobs were standing there looking at them expectantly. 

 

Eliot and Margo were terrified, they didn’t know what to do. They didn’t say anything, so the punk girl spoke first, “Now Josh!” she yelled. And the bar went quiet. Everyone else around them stopped moving, as if they were frozen in time. 

 

Suddenly, Eliot recognized the first few bars of one of his favorite Queen songs playing over the bar's loudspeaker, as some of the wackjobs began to step towards them.


	6. Interludes and Introductions

Quentin was nervous. Kady’s plan was clever and well thought out, but the voice in his head told him that if peaches and plums didn’t work nothing ever would. 

 

They waited for days to get a good enough location to enact their plan, and when Margo posted a video of her and Eliot dancing at a relatively low- key looking bar, they jumped at the opportunity. Thank the gods for Margo, social as she was, who tagged their location in her post. It was like the universe was finally on their side. 

 

Quentin knew how the plan was supposed to go, but when he locked eyes with Eliot and heard Kady yell, “Now Josh,” his mind momentarily went blank. 

 

Everything came back into focus when Alice began to hum “Mmm num ba de” just like she had the first time. 

 

The room was still and the people in it were frozen. Josh has managed to hook his phone up to the bar’s speaker system and had an instrumental version of “Under Pressure” playing, just for them. 

 

“Pressure pushing down on me   
Pressing down on you, no man ask for” Kady sang as she stepped forward. 

 

Eliot looked at Quentin. It seemed like Eliot was silently asking him a question. Asking what he should do. Quentin nodded and gave him a look that said ‘you know what to do.’

 

Eliot stepped forward warrily, “Under pressure that burns a building down   
Splits a family in two   
Puts people on streets,” 

 

He looked confused, like he had no idea why his body was doing what it was. Margo’s eyes went wide as she smacked Eliot’s arm. 

 

“What the hell are you doing,” she asked through gritted teeth. After his verse was over, he offered her a shrug in response. 

 

Quentin and Alice continued their “Um ba ba de”s with more confidence, smiles forming across their lips. 

 

Julia smiled wide, she could tell it was working, “That's the terror of knowing what this world is about.”

 

“Watching some good friends screaming   
Let me out!” Eliot and Margo sang together this time. They both had a confused, but amused look on their faces. 

 

“Pray tomorrow takes me higher,” Eliot sang, looking desperately at Quentin. He noticed Margo reach at her ankle, as if something was there pulling on her. It was then that he remembered where Eliot and Margo were when they sang this song. Not on a quest for the unity key with Quentin, but instead on a ship about to plummet to their deaths. He felt a pang of guilt for a second, but it was too late to turn back now. 

 

“Pressure on people, people on streets” They all moved closer to Eliot and Margo, not much space was separating them now.

 

“Chipping around, kick my brains around the floor

These are the days it never rains but it pours” Eliot seemed to be gaining confidence, more sure of himself and the situation. 

 

“Ee do ba be

Ee da ba ba ba

Um bo bo

Be lap” Quentin sang with Alice in Kady in response. A hopeful smile forming on his face as he locked eyes with Eliot again.

 

“People on streets

Ee da de da de

People on streets

Ee da de da de da de da

It's the terror of knowing what this world is about

Watching some good friends screaming

Let me out” Julia sang, and everyone joined her, even Eliot and Margo were getting into the song now.

 

“Pray tomorrow gets me higher, high” Eliot stumbled a bit as he sang.

 

“Pressure on people, people on streets”

 

“Turned away from it all like a blind man

Sat on a fence but it don't work

Keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn” Penny Forty sang, hesitantly, just like the first time. Quentin could tell that Penny didn’t like to sing, and that his hesitation was genuine.

 

“Why, why, why?” Margo begin to scream as she and Eliot fell to the floor. The boat came to Quentin’s mind again. Everyone looked concerned, and almost stopped the song, but Quentin motioned for them to keep going. He watched as Fen ran to where Margo was on the floor. 

 

“Love, love, love, love, love

Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking

Can't we give ourselves one more chance?

Why can't we give love that one more chance?

Why can't we give love, give love, give love, give love

Give love, give love, give love, give love, give love?” Eliot and Margo shot back up immediately, re-positioning themselves in time for Josh’s verse.

 

“Cause love's such an old fashioned word

And love dares you to care for

The people on the edge of the night” Josh moved towards Margo and Fen as he sang. Intense love and hope filling all three of their faces.

 

“And love dares you to change our way of

Caring about ourselves

This is our last dance

This is our last dance

This is ourselves under pressure

Under pressure

Pressure” All ten of them sang together. Quentin, Alice, Kady, and Josh ending with snaps, just like they had before. The music faded out and the recognition faded from Eliot and Margo’s faces.

 

Eliot and Quentin locked eyes for a final time, but this time it was intense, full of anger and worry. 

 

“Okay who the fuck are you nutsacks, and what the hell was all that?” Margo demanded, before throwing up violently on the floor in front of her.

 

“Well, at least we know that’s really Margo.” Alice said flatly.

 

******

 

Margo tried to pull herself together as Fen, the brunette girl who had visited her at work the other day, held her hair back. 

 

“I thought this might happen, here” She pulled a pink bottle from her purse and offered it to Margo. 

 

Margo eyed her skeptically. She was dressed in normal clothes now, but looked no less beautiful. Margo took the bottle of Pepto Bismol from her hands and took a swig. “Thanks,” She responded dryly.

 

Once Margo was done vomiting, the man Eliot now recognized as ‘Q’ began to speak. “We’re friends, family even,” he seemed genuine. Eliot couldn’t help but notice the other bar-goers still frozen in place. He must have looked horrified, because Q continued, “they aren’t hurt, they won’t even know this has happened.”

 

“How are you doing this?” Eliot asked, fearfully.

 

“With magic,” Q answered seriously, as if what he just said wasn’t totally ridiculous, “all of this can be explained with magic, if you just give us a chance.”

 

“Why should we trust you, flavor of the month?” Margo asked accusingly, eyebrows raised. Eliot winced at her reference to his earlier vision. 

 

“Flavor of the- never mind, look Margo, please just give us a chance. Please, just trust me.” Q pleaded. Margo didn’t trust him one bit. She looked to where Fen and the blond guy were standing close to her.

 

“I trust them,” she said, clenching her jaw.

 

“Margo, we can explain all of this, just please listen to Quentin,” the blonde guy responded, “you can trust him,” he added.

 

‘Quentin’. Eliot liked the sound of that. He looked like a Quentin. “We can’t talk about it here, you need to come with us,” the punk girl said.

 

Margo and Eliot looked at each other, as if they could read each other's thoughts. “We have to do this Bambi,” he whispered to her. She nodded. She knew he was right.

 

“Okay,” Margo answered loudly, “but if any of you dicks, lays a finger on either one of us, it will be removed from your body. Kapeesh?” 

 

Quentin rolled his eyes. “Yes, of course.”

  
  
  


Margo and Eliot walked at least ten feet behind the group the whole way to their destination. They were both quiet, but they held each other, anchoring them to the moment. 

 

They were surprised when they arrived at one of the nicest buildings in town and took the elevator up to the penthouse. They entered a beautiful apartment, filled with expensive furniture. Eliot marveled at their surroundings.

 

“Is this where you’re going to Hannibal Lector us?” Margo asked, only half joking.

 

A brunette girl, neither of them recognized motioned to the living room, “You guys can make yourselves at home, can I get you anything, any water or something to drink.” 

 

Eliot looked at her, she had kind eyes. “Um yes, water would be great thank you. And sparkling for her, if you have it,” he responded, motioning to Margo.

 

Once everyone was situated, Quentin began, “So what do you guys know? About us or magic or any of this really?”

 

Margo looked annoyed, “Well we left our board at home so-” Everyone looked confused, so Eliot cut her off.

 

“Bambi,” he warned, and she settled back down with a soft eye roll. Eliot pointed at Quentin, “Quentin, I presume,” he nodded, “first year grad student and thirty year old man from the middle ages, simultaneously.” Quentin smiled. He moved onto the girl next to him, “Blonde girl, fellow first year, one time party go-er,” he continued down the line, “scary, punk girl. Surprisingly good voice,” she narrowed her eyes and gave him a half smile, “Fashionably challenged twins,” they both looked offended, but let Eliot keep going, “Children of Narnia, Fen and… Josh I’m guessing? And lastly, you were very kind, but we don’t have any recon on you,” he said to the brunette girl who was now bringing Margo a bottle of sparkling water, a straw sticking out from the top of it.

 

Quentin nodded, processing all this information, he looked a tad overwhelmed, “Um, okay we can work with this.”

 

One of the Indian men waved his arms angrily, “We are not twins, first of all, we are actually the same person just from different timelines, and I’ll have you know that this scarf was very expensive.” 

 

Margo looked even more annoyed, “Different timelines, really? You want us to believe that? So I’m guessing now’s the time when you murder us and use us as skin suits?” She said, venom clear in her voice. 

 

Fen gasped, “Margo, we would never!” she put her hand over her heart. 

 

More people began to voice their opinions and the room got loud with arguments quickly. “Hey!” Eliot yelled, “You,” he pointed at Quentin, “your turn, what the actual  _ fuck _ is all of this.”

 

“It’s a spell. You’re under a spell.” Quentin stated plainly.

 

“I am  _ not _ in the mood to be bull-shitted right now,” Eliot snipped back.

 

“Good, because, I am  _ not _ bullshitting you. Here,” he said, making weird motions with his hands. Suddenly tiny fireworks erupted from his fingers and exploded in the air above his head.

 

“Holy Shit-” “Wow” Eliot and Margo exclaimed at the same time.

 

Quentin finally had their attention, “Your memories up until six months ago are fake. They were replaced using a spell that altered your reality and the reality around you.”

 

Eliot looked perplexed, “Who did this to us?”

 

The blonde girl stepped forward, “I did,” she said guiltily, “I’m Alice by the way. But Kady and I only did the spell because you asked us to.”

 

Margo snorted, “That doesn’t sound like me.”

 

The punk girl, Kady, spoke up, “Well, you didn’t actually ask us to. We were getting ready to perform it on Eliot and you just sort of hopped on the bandwagon because he was doing it.”

 

“Oh,” Margo paused, “okay that sounds more like me.”

 

“I mean you definitely had your own stuff going on,” she replied, eyeing Fen and Josh.

 

Fen looked angry, “I told you, we were trying to get her back! We had a plan, if it hadn’t been for your stupid spell-”

 

“We?” Margo asked as she raised an eyebrow.

 

Fen smiled at her, “I know things are a little different here, but where I come from, and where we live together now, relationships like ours are very common.” 

 

“Ours?” Margo asked, more concerned than before, eyes narrowing even further.

 

Josh spoke up, “We both love you so much Margo, and we’re so sorry that what we did caused you to resort to something like this.”

 

Eliot watched as the tension left Margo’s shoulders and her face began to relax. He turned his attention away from her. “Why on earth would I ask for this?” Eliot directed his question towards Quentin.

 

Quenin took a few steps, closing the gap between them. He kneeled on the floor, inches away from where Eliot was sitting, careful not to actually touch him. He wanted to keep all of his fingers today, and he knew Margo would make good on her threat, “Eliot, I don’t know how much you remember, but you and I… we were kind of… well we had something and then I died.” Eliot looked horrified, “I know, I know it sounds bad, but we’re a resilient group, and they actually saved me from the Underworld. Look El, you were so upset after my death that you asked Alice and Kady to just make the pain go away.”

 

“There’s an Underworld?” Margo asked in disbelief. 

 

“That’s what you got from all of that?” Kady asked, astounded.

 

“So, I loved you?” Eliot asked, ignoring Margo and Kady. Quentin nodded back with a smile. Eliot studied his expression as he asked the next question, “And you loved me back?”

 

Quentin smiled up at him, “more than you will ever know.”

 

Eliot gasped, “Margo, they’re telling the truth.”


	7. Real Lives and Regrets

Alice walked Eliot and Margo through the instructions for the spell for a second time. They both paid close attention and listened intently.

 

Quentin was in the kitchen with Julia, watching them from across the apartment.  “This is it, Q, you two finally did it.” She mused.

 

Quentin looked back at her, confused, “we finally did what?”

 

Julia smiled and let out a hearty laugh, “after all this time, you and El have finally found your way back to each other. It’s kind of amazing.”

 

Quentin hugged her, and kissed the side of her head. She was right, they finally did it. And it was totally amazing.

Their tender moment was interrupted by Eliot, who approached the two of them with caution.

 

“Um, Julia, right?” Julia nodded with delight, “would you mind giving us just a second?”

 

“No, of course not!” She began to walk away, “I’ll just be over there helping with set up if you need me Q!”

 

Eliot and Quentin stood a few inches apart, looking at each other, awkwardly. “So,” Eliot began, “when this whole thing is over, and Margo and I get our memories back, what will that mean for us?”

 

Quentin thought for a moment before answering, “well, whatever you want it to mean. Hopefully Josh and Fen can get Margo back in the good graces of Fillory. You can stay here or go with her, and she doesn’t even have to go if she doesn’t want to. You can both take everything at your own pace and we’ll all be here to guide you along…” Quentin could feel himself rambling and he started to blush under Eliot’s scrutinous gaze. “What?” he asked.

 

“You’re really cute when you do that,” Eliot smiled, “I can see why I fell in love with you.” Quentin blushed even harder. Even after a lifetime together, Eliot managed to catch him off guard with his sincerity. “I meant, what does that mean for us, as in you and me?”

 

Quentin let out a laugh, “oh, of course.” He had no idea where to even begin, “well that can also mean whatever you want it to, we left in kind of a weird place.”

 

Eliot scoffed, “Yeah, you died. ‘A weird place’ is the understatement of the century.”

 

Quentin laughed again, Eliot really had no idea, did he? “At some point in history you and I spent an entire lifetime together. We were… working on something and raising a family. And Eliot,” he made sure Eliot was looking in his eyes, “we loved each other so much it hurt. We grew old and eventually you died.”

 

Eliot laughed and gestured widely, “well there’s our problem, Q! Why the hell do we keep dying on each other?”

 

“Yeah, we should definitely stop that,” Quentin knew he missed Eliot, but gods he had forgotten how much.

 

Eliot leaned in closer, giving Quentin a look that he would have recognized anywhere, “Would it be totally against the rules if I kissed you right now? Before I get my memories back?”

 

Quentin looked down, away from Eliot’s gaze, “well, it wouldn't be _totally_ against the rules…” Quentin felt weird about being with this Eliot, even though he knew deep down that it was _his_ Eliot.

 

Eliot softly pulled Quentin up by his chin, making him meet his eyes. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss to his lips. Quentin hadn’t been kissed by Eliot since Fillory, before Eliot had died. The kiss overwhelmed him with emotions, and made him that much more ready to get Eliot restored to his former self.

 

After the kiss, Quentin pulled back and looked at Eliot. This might be the most beautiful sight in the world, he thought.

 

He was too entranced in Eliot Waugh to notice Julia approaching them, “Guys,” she interrupted, “We’re ready.”

  
******

 

“So once you go under, there’s no way of knowing what will happen next,” Kady warned them.

 

Eliot and Margo nodded, they understood. They had only learned of Magic’s existence a few hours ago, but they were completely on board. Eliot, especially, had always known there was something off about his and Margo’s perfectly happy lives. Even if it meant reliving painful memories, he wanted to be his true self again.

 

“The books all say that when the spell is performed you have to mean it. So, if your whole heart isn’t in this it won’t work.” Alice added.

 

“I’m ready,” Eliot said, looking up at Quentin with a knowing smile.

 

“Me too,” Margo stated, a little less sure than her best friend, but still ready.

 

Eliot and Margo laid down, just like Alice had instructed them to and began to chant what they’d just memorized until the world faded away and everything went black.

  
******

 

Margo opened her eyes. She was in the same apartment, and the same living room as before, but she had no new memories. She looked around, disappointed. They swore this spell would work, they swore she would get her memories back.

 

She took stock of her surroundings. She noticed Kady and Alice kneeling on the floor, but none of the others were anywhere to be found. When she looked closer, she saw Eliot and herself laying on the floor, head to head, eyes closed. Kady and Alice were chanting something in Latin above them.

 

“Holy shit,” she exclaimed. The scene stopped as soon as she spoke. Kady, Alice, and Eliot remained frozen in place, and the other Margo sat up, looking annoyed.

 

“Ready for my new life here! Why the hell’d we stop?” She looked confused, noticing the frozen scene around her.

 

Margo cleared her throat, “that would be my fault,” she said, hesitantly.

 

The other Margo stood up and walked towards her, smiling smugly, “and who might you be?”

 

“I’m you… I think,” Margo was trying not to let the other her intimidate her, but wow she could be scary sometimes, “I’m trying to get my memories back.”

 

“I guess this little incantation actually worked” the other Margo responded, “and why the _fuck_ would you want those memories back? I promise you, they’re full of nothing but pain.” She said slowly. Margo recognized this facade she was putting on. It was what she did when she was scared and defensive.

 

“The others don’t seem to think that. They’ve been trying like Hell to get Eliot and I back, and to get us restored to who we really are.” Margo sniped back, confidently.

 

“Oh yeah,” other Margo scoffed, “And what exactly do you think you’ll be getting back?”

 

Margo tried to remain composed. She wasn’t going to let the other her change her mind, “I don’t know exactly. But I know that at some point I was a ruler of a place I loved. I know that I have friends that will crawl through actual hell to save one another. And I know that there are two people waiting for me on the other side, who love me more than anything, weird as that all may sound.”

 

The other Margo looked back at her with pity, “Hmm well, you certainly seemed to have skipped over some parts, so let me give you some of the highlights: there are the multiple forced marriages for both you and Eliot, there’s the constant threat of death always hanging over, there are the decisions you regret making, like bargaining Fen’s baby away! I’m guessing she didn’t mention that?” other Margo rattled on, despite the horrified look on Margo’s face, “You were deposed, as the king of a place you never asked to rule, but loved with every fiber of your being, nonetheless. You watched your best friend in the entire world have his body and mind taken from him for months on end, with no way to stop the torture,” She paused, “And Q is fucking dead!” she yelled. She took a couple of deep breaths before continuing, “As for Fen and Hoberman, whatever ‘relationship’ you feel you had with them was obviously some sort of miscommunication, because they couldn’t even bother to send a _fucking_ rabbit telling you not to come back.”

 

Both Margos were crying now. Margo was trying to process what the other her had just said, “Margo…” she took a deep breath in, “this life that you seem to hate, its _real_. Nothing about my life is real. Not my friends, or my job, or my accomplishments, or even my goddamn feelings. I have to do this.”

 

“You think your life is tough because it isn’t _real_ ? Gods, we are so _fucking_ stupid!” Other Margo put her hands on her hips and scoffed, “Fine,” she said, calmer and quieter, but no less angry, “if this is what you really want then go ahead and get them back. I obviously can’t stop you.”

 

Margo smiled, she reached out hesitantly, and put her hands on the other Margo’s shoulders, “You are in so much pain aren’t you?” Another tear rolled down other Margo’s cheek. “We are going to be okay, whatever happens. We are Margo fucking Hanson. We’ve got this.”

 

Suddenly, the room warped around her. The frozen scene faded and Margo fell to the floor. She was gasping for air, just like she’d done when her memory was first erased.

 

When everything stopped swirling, she felt heavier, and more grounded. Painful memories washed over her as she recognized the other faces in the room, and the history behind each of them.

 

“Margo?” Fen asked nervously, her and Josh both staring at Margo with hope in their eyes.

 

Margo smiled, she stood up and walked over to them. She shoved them both backwards, lightly. “You assholes!” she yelled.

 

Josh and Fen remained completely still, sadness washing over them as they realized that most of Margo’s most recent memories of them weren’t positive. Margo began to choke up a bit as tears filled her eyes, “Gods, I missed you both so much!” She enveloped them in a big hug. They hugged her back and passionate kisses were traded between each of them, “don’t ever do that to me again! Okay?” she asked, insecure.

 

“Never,” Fen vowed.

 

“From now on, wherever we go, we go together.” Josh said, hugging his girlfriends closely.

 

Margo turned her attention away from Fen and Josh, “Is Eliot up yet?” She asked hopefully.

 

“Not yet,” Alice answered, everyone in the room looked concerned.

 

Quentin hovered over Eliot’s sleeping body nervously, “come on, El, please come back to me,” he pleaded.

 

After a few more seconds of silence, Eliot shot back up into the air, gasping for breath.


	8. TV Channels and Tremendous Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys! Thank you all so much for reading and for your comments (they literally make my life)! I know how I want this to end and I think I can do it in one more chapter after this one, but may end up splitting it into two, depending on how carried away I get, haha.
> 
> This was my favorite, and toughest, chapter to write so far, so I hope you all enjoy it!

Eliot opened his eyes and looked around the apartment. He was disappointed to find it completely empty. Not only that, but he had no new memories, the spell must not have worked. He noticed the daylight shining through the windows and wondered how long he’d been out.

 

“Oh, you’re up,” Eliot was completely startled by the voice, “I wondered when you would grace us with your presence,” the voice added, dripping with sarcasm.

 

Fear began to bubble up inside of Eliot. The voice belonged to another version of himself, a version he didn’t recognize. This other Eliot looked horrible, like he hadn’t seen a shower in weeks. His hair was longer than Eliot would ever let himself grow it and his eyes were red-rimmed as if he’d been crying. He walked past Eliot, barefoot and in red silk pajamas, towards a room off to the side of the living room. 

 

Eliot got up to follow, “Best not to disturb them, we don’t know what the consequences for messing this up will be,” the other Eliot warned, motioning to Kady, Alice, and Margo, frozen on the floor. Eliot hadn’t noticed them before, and was startled by their presence. 

 

“How long have they been like that?” He asked the other Eliot as they entered the smaller TV area.

 

“Oh, I don’t know 12 hours maybe? They froze when you got here.” He sat down on the couch and picked up the TV remote, “come, sit. No need to be afraid, I don’t bite.” Eliot crossed the room and sat next to his other self on the couch. “They were in the middle of erasing my memories, giving me a new life, you know?” He said, absentmindedly. Eliot nodded. He continued, “I suppose you’re here to warn me not to do it? Judging by your outfit and hair I’m guessing you’re me from Brakebills, right around the time I met Q?”

 

Eliot suddenly felt insecure in his silk vest and tie. This was one of his favorite outfits. Eliot did  _ not  _ like this version of himself, but was intrigued. He decided to go with it, and not correct the other him. “Yes.” He responded quietly.

 

The other Eliot scoffed. “Innocent little bastard,” he whispered, fiddling with the TV remote. “If you’re going to tell me it’s better to have loved and lost or some other crap, save it. It’s not worth your breath.”

 

Eliot wanted to keep him calm and find out what was going on. “What are you watching?” He asked, attempting to change the subject.

 

“Funny you should ask,” Other Eliot responded dryly, but with venom clear in his voice, “None of my regular programs seem to be on, so I’m left with all this bullshit.”

 

He handed the remote to Eliot. Eliot hit the power button, and as soon as he did the TV and shelves behind it disappeared. The rest of the room remained the same as a forest ground appeared in front of them. It was nighttime, and there were torches decorating the outdoor area. A women appeared and walked right through the couch between the two Eliots, not noticing they were there. When she got to the front, Eliot noticed who it was. It was Fen, one of the loves of Margo’s life, dressed in an odd white outfit. She was walking towards an altar where Eliot and Margo stood. Eliot recognized the pink jacket she had on. It was one of her favorites.

 

‘Maybe this was Margo and Fen’s wedding?’ He pondered. He began to run through some possibilities in his head when the other him spoke up.

 

“Oh goodie,” he said sarcastically, “we’ve stumbled across a fun one. Our wedding.”

 

Holy shit. Our wedding? No, no, no he could not be marrying the love of Margo’s life. He protested, “But thats-”.

 

The other Eliot cut him off, “A woman? I know. Future lover of Margo’s too by the way. You can go ahead and add that to your big book of unfortunate overlaps.” He paused, a sad smile forming, “But, one look from those big puppy dog eyes and I knew I would marry a fucking raccoon if it made Q happy.” He took a big swig from a bottle of cheap vodka that Eliot hadn’t noticed before.

 

The memory Eliot reached out to shake Fen’s hand, and Other Eliot winced, “okay, next one please. Not really feeling this one. I don’t know about you, but I’m not a big ‘arranged wedding’ guy, it’s just depressing.”

 

Eliot flipped the channel up, trying not to think too hard about the fact that he had married Fen, as the room changed again. The first thing he noticed was loud moans of pleasure coming from underneath a dirty sheet. He recognized his surroundings as the same hut he’d been in earlier that night, when he’d had his vision of Quentin. 

 

“Oh gods, now this is what I’m talking about, turn the volume up!” Other Eliot demanded. Eliot didn’t do as he was told, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with the live sex show. The sheet slipped a little bit and Quentin emerged, naked and glowing with sweat. Eliot, blushed noticing himself underneath Quentin, face twisted in pleasure. 

 

Eliot heard a knocking from outside the room, _“Daddy? Papa? I had a nightmare.” A small voice said._

 

Other Eliot looked pissed, “Why can’t I just get some good old fashioned porn? Why must I always learn a fucking lesson?” He yelled, taking another large sip of vodka.

 

_“Shit,” Quentin whispered as he and the memory Eliot laughed, “We’re coming Teddy, just give me minute.” The couple in the memory continued to giggle, not a care in the world, as they climbed out of bed and tried to put clothes on._

 

Eliot had never seen himself look that happy before. When did he and Quentin have a child? How much life had they already lived together? He could of kept watching the memory forever, but other Eliot grabbed the remote from his hands, changing the channel again.

 

“Trust me, the happy ones are a lot worse to relive.” He said quietly.

 

Eliot studied him, the other Eliot looked truly miserable. “He really died, didn’t he?” Other Eliot nodded, “And you really loved him?”

 

Other Eliot scoffed, “Didn’t you?” Eliot tensed, he didn’t want to give his lie away, “When exactly are you from, again?” Other Eliot asked, skeptical.

 

Eliot was trying to think of a response when another memory began to form in front of them. It was him and Margo sitting in a small wooden room that seemed to be swaying back and forth slowly. Eliot could feel the motion, even from where he was sitting on the couch. 

 

He and Margo looked insane, but stylish as ever. They each had on elaborate, beautiful Medieval outfits. Margo’s was topped off with a sequined eyepatch, of all things. They both had shackles around their ankles and terrified looks on their faces.

 

_ “I mean, what really gave us the right?” Memory Eliot asked Margo. _

 

_ “Hey,” she turned to him, “we didn’t make the world. It was baked by fucking goat-meat nut-jobs, so of course it’s insane,” She remained strong, even as memory Eliot looked unsure, “And of course we’re insane for thinking we can make it better. But you know what?” _

 

_ “What?” Memory Eliot asked, uncertainty in his voice. _

 

_ “We did,” she exclaimed, confidently, “For a hot minute, we did.” _

 

_ “When?”  _

 

Eliot looked at the way Other Eliot was watching this memory, clutching the bottle of vodka to his chest and looking lovingly at Margo. “We ruined her life, you know?” He said not looking away from the memory, “She could have been happy and carefree, but everywhere we went, we had to drag her down with us.”

 

“That’s not true,” Eliot responded, tears in his eyes.

 

“Oh yeah? What do you know?” He spat back.

 

Eliot was suddenly sucked back into the memory when he heard the sound of his own laughter.

 

_ “I meant, literally one perfect minute on this god-fucked rock.” Memory Eliot laughed and Margo smiled as she continued, “And we can do it again. We made it better. I mean, come on.” _

 

_ Memory Eliot sighed and looked down as Margo turned to him, her voice becoming more earnest, “We’ve pretty much only ever had each other. And that’s gotten us through pretty much everything... I mean everything.” Memory Eliot nodded his head in agreement. _

 

_ “Everything,” he repeated as Margo smiled, “Well, whatever happens, thank you for giving us the time where we can finally just speak with no bullshit, and I can just say,” Memory Eliot turned to meet his eyes with Margo's, they were only inches from each other and were looking at each other with pure adoration, “I love you, Margo.” _

 

_ “I know,” she responded with a smirk. _

 

“We didn’t deserve her, just like we didn't deserve Quentin either.” Other Eliot said.

 

Eliot tried to bait him for more information, “Whatever happened to her?” He asked, already kind of knowing the answer. 

 

“She fell in love, just like the rest of us idiots, but  _ she _ fell in love with two people,” he took a sip of vodka, “and a kingdom, kind of,” he added, “but none of the above were feelin’ it back.” He sighed.

 

“Why are you doing this?” Eliot asked, “Is this only because Quentin died? Because if that’s the case then-”

 

“Then what?” Other Eliot snapped back, “I shouldn’t base my life around just one person? You’re so fucking naive.” 

 

“Get over yourself!” Eliot yelled back, “Listen to me, Quentin is-”

 

“What!” Other Eliot shouted, standing up and fuming with anger, “Just another first year? Just some straight boy whose feelings don’t matter? He’s a person, you piece of shit!” 

 

Eliot saw all this anger his other self had, and began to wonder if getting these awful memories back was what he really wanted.

 

Other Eliot sat back down, “Here,” he said, punching some numbers into the remote. “Take a look for yourself.”

 

The room shifted again and a new scene emerged. A large ornate castle room appeared decorated with gifts and flowers. He and Quentin sat on some steps in the middle of the room, but there was more than one version of himself here. Another Eliot stood closer to the couch watching the ensuing conversation. 

 

_ “Did it happen?” Sitting Eliot asked, nonchalantly. _

 

_ “Fifty years,” Quentin responded, astonished. _

 

_ “It happened,” Sitting Eliot said, matter of factly. _

 

The memory had an aura to it that none of the others did. A painful sinking feeling began to take root in Eliot’s stomach.

 

“What is this, what’s happening?” He asked Other Eliot, panicked.

 

“Your darkest memory, your biggest regret.” The other Eliot spat back. “Just watch this, and then tell me you think I shouldn’t go through with the memory wipe.”

 

Sitting Eliot and Quentin began to speak more and the standing memory Eliot started shifting, growing uneasy. Eliot couldn’t hear what they were saying as the pain in his stomach grew stronger.

 

_ Quentin and Sitting Eliot looked away from each other, each looked upset and hurt.  _

 

_ “What the hell is wrong with you?” Standing Eliot asked. _

 

“You waste of life!” Other Eliot shouted, standing again and throwing the vodka bottle across the room.

 

_ “What the hell are you doing?” Standing Eliot continued, not hearing him or noticing the bottle rolling towards the steps. “Someone good, and true, loves you, and he went out on a limb. And yeah, it was a little crazy, but you knew. You knew this was a moment that truly mattered and you just snuffed it out.  _

 

Standing Eliot continued on, but Eliot’s concerns lied with the other him, who has dissolved into a fit on tears on the ground. He reached down to console him, but looked up just in time to see the standing him lean down and kiss Quentin. 

 

_ “If I ever get out of here Q, know that when I’m braver, it’s cause I learned it from you.”  _

 

The scene disappeared and the room began to warp. Other Eliot hadn’t looked up from his ball on the ground yet. Eliot fell to the floor, the pain coursing through his limbs becoming too much to bare. A scary thought entered Eliot’s mind as he wondered if it was possible for him to die in there. 

 

He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up. It was the Eliot from the memory, the standing one. He must have escaped somehow and bridged his way through. 

 

“Go back to him,” he instructed, “be braver, don’t let this consume you.”

 

Strangled breaths escaped Eliot’s mouth, “I can’t, it hurts too much.” The pain had reached his whole body now, starting to infect every inch of himself.

 

“Go and do what none of us could ever do,” he said, gesturing to the Other Eliot, and to sitting Eliot, who had also escaped the memory somehow, “Do it for the people waiting for you on the other side, who risked their lives time and again to save you. Do it for Margo, who needs you almost as much as you need her. Do it for Q, who is so good and loves you so much. But mostly, Eliot,” He took a deep breath, “Do it for you. Give all of us the chance we never gave ourselves.”

 

Eliot nodded, standing through the pain, “I can do this, I want my memories back.” He said. 

 

With that said, everything turned to black. All the other Eliots disappeared and he was alone, choking, no air coming to his lungs. Lights began to form in front of his eyes, as the apartment living room came back into focus. As soon as he could, he shot up from the ground and took in as much air as his lungs would allow.

 

He was back. And so was every single memory.


End file.
